


Too Much For Today

by Talking_Walking_Trashbag



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 12:52:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8801539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talking_Walking_Trashbag/pseuds/Talking_Walking_Trashbag
Summary: I can’t write this without spoiling anything but trigger warning because it is about an eating disorder (Bulimia) and there's cursing and stuffI love you guys so remember that there is an eating disorder present. This is again is bad. My writing is actual trash. I hope you guys like it (you probably won’t though)!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is from my tumblr @myamazingeverydaylife so yeah check that out. I HOPE YOU LIKE MY CRAPPY STORY!

“Hey, Alex!” John greeted with a smile. He sat down at the lunch table, placing down his food. I just waved, as my mouth was filled with water. I gulp it down and said,  

“Hey, John!”. I can not believe his is my boyfriend, literally. I mean, you have to look at all his exes. Even that time in 10th grade where his father thought he could fix “it” (the apparent disease called “the gay”) by getting him a girlfriend. They all have one thing in common.  Skinny. They were all skinny, sometimes I wonder if they ever ate at all. They all had abs, and me? I’m just flabby, John says I’m fine and just overreacting. I am not, why do you think I’m drinking water in a place that sells Pepsi.

 “Are you okay?” John asks.  Shit you were staring too long.

_**Say something, don’t fucking mess this up.** _

The voice in my is always telling me things like that. I just follow its instructions, 

“Thinking bout’ you.” I respond.  

 _ **Dumbass**_  

John blushes and I hear footsteps coming near the table, 

“Mon amis!” Lafayette exclaimed, arm linked with Hercules. Me and John did a synchronized wave while they sat down. A conversation ensued but, I kept quiet.  

 _ **Do it. Now. You’ve eaten too much.**_  

I look down at my tray and it was almost empty. I ate the sandwich and drank the water but, that was a lot for today.  

“I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.” I said suddenly, getting up from my seat,

  “Are you okay Alexander?” Herc asks with an eyebrow raised. I nod and start walking to to the bathroom. Once I reach there, I look in each stall to make sure nobody was there. Once I knew no one was there I step into a stall. I kneeled down in front of the toilet 

_**This is the only way you can get thin** _

I took two fingers and put them down my throat. I will spare you the gory details.  

_**Remember what you fucking did yesterday** _

I winced. I had a binge yesterday, I really wasn’t in control. Sometimes I have to thank the voice, it’s really just helping me. I flushed the toilet and tried again. I had put the fingers to my mouth and stuffed them down my throat. Since I had just done it doing it again took a while. 

“Alex?” I hear a voice ask. It’s John’s. I think he’s behind me. I take my hand out of my mouth. This is what happens when you don’t close the door, dumbass. Now he’s going to dump you. 

“John.” I respond, “What are you doing here.” I have no idea what my own voice was doing. 

“Alex, what were you doing?” He asks. I want to say “You know damn well what I’m doing.”. Instead I made it worse, 

“Nothing.” I replied.  

“Alex, forcing yourself to vomit isn’t ‘nothing’” he said. I got up and walked to the sink. I shook my head, tears were forming in my eyes.  

“It’s not my fault all of your exes are Calvin Klein models.” I snap while washing my hands. 

“Alexander, I love you and nothing can change that. I just don’t understand, you’re not fat at all. It wouldn’t even matter to me.” John explains reaching a hand out to me. I move shoulder out the way. My tears fall directly into the sink. 

“BULLSHIT!” I scream. Tears are coming out faster and harder. John opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I walk away, my face red with anger.  

_**Great fucking job. You will never get someone like him.** _

I’m almost at the door when everything goes black.


End file.
